A friend wrote that when her mother was gravely ill in hospital no one came to visit her. I was reminded that admirers were all over my husband, Cliff Carter, with adoration and respect when he was playing the supper clubs and lounges and TV shows. But when he died, apart from close friends and a few family members, only the maitre d' from The Astor Lounge, Nick, showed up for his memorial service.
A little earlier, an old friend, Wally Aspell, seriously ill with cancer himself, had gone out to buy Cliff a special tie at Brisson and Brisson on Sherbrooke Street. Wally was so ill at the time, that even though it was summer, he had to bundle up to walk over to that exclusive men's shop. Wally was so sick he could hardly eat. He was living on Campell's soup. Wally admired, respected and loved Cliff. They were both in hospitals at the same time and could not visit each other. Wally died shortly afterward. That is a loving friend. I will never forget him. Cliff never wore that tie. I still have it in the original box and I treasure it in memory of the friendship of Wally and Cliff.
My father, George Rubin, helped many Liberal Party politicians get elected - Raymond Baraket, Bill Tetley, Jean Pierre Goyer, Warren Allmand, Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Russell Copeman, Marlene Jennings. When my father died after months in hospital and in the Griffith Residence, not one of them came to his memorial service. I visited my father almost every day while he was in hospital and at the Griffith Not one of those politicians visited him in the hospital or at the residence. Only one Liberal member showed up at the memorial service at the Griffith, a Mr. Baker who had known him for years.
My mother told me when I was very young, "Cake eaters are not friends. They only come for the parties and the fun. Don't expect them to come when you are alone and you need a friend."