How do you save someone who doesn't understand that she is living in hell? Our baby sister, Debbie Rubin McSweeney, is a grandmother now, but in my heart and memory, Debbie is still our little sister - the sweetest, gentlest, most innocent and loving child anyone can imagine. An angel child. I am haunted by the memory of her goodness.
But Debbie, like most members of our family, had a weight problem from the time she was about three years old. She grew up and she grew larger and larger. As a consequence, Debbie lived in isolation through her childhood. She had no friends and she never went anywhere. My parents couldn't find clothes to fit her. And still, she was the sweetest girl God could have created. We adored her.
And then one summer, Debbie ventured out. Through Sir George Williams College in Montreal, she somehow found a day camp. I believe it was called "Unschool". And there Debbie met Ed McSweeney. And we lost her. She slipped away into the darkness. Her character changed. She married Ed McSweeney, the first boy who ever paid attention to her.
I tell this in absolute honesty, their home was not fit for human habitation. Ed McSweeney who was a talented employee in the computer programming field suffered problems that caused him to give up or lose his job. He never worked again. He sat at home year after year and smoked cigarettes until the walls, and windows and sofas were coated in thick brown sludge and the carpeting and sofas were covered with cigarette burns. The hair of their darling younger child - in the early 1990's, a toddler in diapers -reeked with the sickening stench of tobacco. It broke my heart. But I was told to mind my own business.
Why am I writing this? Because I am haunted by the love I have for my baby sister, My sister Sheila tried many times to rescue Debbie and her children, but Debbie always returned to Ed. She said it was because she loved him so much. She said it was because she feared him so much. There is ample proof that her fears were justified. But, when asked, she denies that she ever said it.
I don't fear Ed McSweeney for my sake. I fear speaking about him for his sake. There is no way to know what he may do and I wish him no harm.
But I love Debbie, and I do not believe that she willingly participated in the robbery her daughter Dawn committed on October 7, 1996. I cannot imagine my beloved little sister enjoying my stolen belongings. It just isn't who she is - or who she was.
I am convinced - based on a lot of evidence - that Debbie's circumstances are due to her love for her daughter, Dawn, and her total dependence on the men in her life - her fear of Ed McSweeney, and the machinations of a man named Kenneth Gregoire Prud'homme who created a will in our mother's name - two years prior to her passing in 2007 - when she was 92 years old and had been physically and mentally handicapped for decades.
Our mother had been kept in total isolation by these self-proclaimed "partners in crime" for almost a decade when this bizarre will was created in 2005.
I appealed to Ometz, Jewish Family Services in Montreal to help Debbie, but I was refused again and again. They say Debbie has to ask for help herself. The social worker at the CLSC told me the same thing. No matter what her circumstances, they will not accept our pleas for help.
Only the truth can set us free from the secrets and the lies that destroyed our family.
Debbie, we love you. I will not hold you responsible for the robbery. I can't believe you took part in any of it willingly. We want to help you. Just reach out and tell the truth.
While there is life, there is hope - and there is love. It isn't too late, yet.
Dawn McSweeney's boyfriend at the time I was robbed was Alex Lavergne. Here on my blog, Alex Lavergne twice accuses Dawn's mother of being the thief.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
WHO ARE THE "PARTNERS IN CRIME"
so named in Dawn McSweeney's own blog ?
ALEX LAVERGNE ACCUSES DAWN MCSWEENEY'S OWN MOTHER, MY FOREVER-BELOVED "BABY SISTER" DEBBIE MCSWEENEY .